i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
