Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The Olympian is in my bed
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
