you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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