My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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