The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
