he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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