i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just took my morning after pill in the library
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
