Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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