my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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