Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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