I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
