i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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