wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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