We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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