i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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