just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
