Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
