Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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