Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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