"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It's never too late to be topless.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
