I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
