I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize