Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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