she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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