our cab driver is having phone sex.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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