I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
