This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
