i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
