She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
