Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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