Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I need a beard to bite.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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