Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
