We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
