69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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