real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
