is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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