You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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