i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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