my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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