FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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