Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Randomize
