Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
