Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I will be naked everywhere
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
