google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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