i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
