3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
