so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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