just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
