no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
