is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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