His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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