I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
