your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
