Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
