I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
