actually, I'm a sock model
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
