He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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