Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
