I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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