if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
