this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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