so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Randomize
