Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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