i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
