Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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